Steve and his friends at the ball game
All About Steve
After disowning Steve for being a geek, Stan must rely on his son's knowledge of science fiction and fantasy to catch a cyber-terrorist.
Season: 1 Episode: 10
Total Episode Count: 10
Prod. no.: 1AJN08
First Aired: September 25, 2005
Guest Starring: Stephen Colbert
Featuring: Stan Smith, Steve Smith, Toshi, Snot, Barry
Also Appearing: Francine, Hayley, Roger, Klaus, Avery Bullock, Jackson, Dick, Scott, Duper, Terry Bates, Greg Corbin, Darnelle Smith, Dr. R. Dandliker, Kurt & Eileen, Dan Vebber, Derek Jeter
Director: Mike Kim
Assistant Director: Jim Shellhorn
Writers: Matt McKenna, Chris McKenna
Storyboarders: Bob Bowen, Jamie Oliff, Scott Wood
Newspaper Headline: "Gas prices higher than dude at Weezer concert"
Plot: A hacker shuts down a hydroelectric power plant. When the man who is the "single most effective weapon in the war against terror", tragically collides against the dam, all of the CIA's remaining resources are focused on catching the hacker. But first the practice for the father-son softball game. Stan talks up Steve as an "absolute warrior", which Steve of course is not, outside of Dungeons & Dragons. He takes Steve to the batting cage to polish his skills, only to have the "big slugger" show that he isn't the athlete that Stan thinks he is. So Steve can see how professionals hit the ball, Stan takes Steve and his friends to a Yankees game and to the locker room to meet Derek Jeter. But when the four nerds take off their baseball jackets to reveal not Yankees uniforms but Star Trek uniforms, Jeter tells Stan that his son is a geek.
In denial, Stan runs home. He finds Steve's nerd toys and an advanced algebra book hidden inside a porn magazine. Horrified, he tells his wife Francine that he would prefer Steve to be the product of a torrid affair than for such a nerd be his own child. He breaks out in a stress rash and grinds his teeth into misalignment. Stan ditches Steve and brings a mid-20s-aged African-American ringer ("Darnelle" Smith) instead to the softball game. Steve figures out he's been ditched and becomes angry. Stan goes to the dentist, (Played by Stephen Colbert) because he now needs to get braces due to his being a "class A grinder." Now that Stan has zits and braces, the other CIA agents beat him up and make fun of him. They ditch him when they go on a mosque raid, in the exact same way that Stan ditched Steve. Stan returns home to the basement and finds that the hacker's language is the same language used in Steve's card game, "Elvish." Steve's friend Snot adjusts Stan's "rear bracket" to get rid of his lisp, and they translate the hacker's notes, discovering who the hacker is. Stan's stress zits go away. They go to the sci-fi convention to find the hacker, Dan Vebber, a J.R.R. Tolkien fan who "hopes to create a middle-earth in the here and now."
Roger feels cooped in the house, like it is a prison without the thrill of a daily cavity search. Hayley's first idea, going to the beach in a burka like a Saudi exchange student, doesn't satisfy Roger. The next idea is for Roger to get a job, the only one available, as a Jumbo Juice costumed advertising man. The Taco King costumed man thinks Roger is in his territory, and savagely beats him up. Hayley overhears Stan going to the sci fi convention and tells Roger he could go there and fit in.
At the convention, Roger finds that the one human he probed (and whose Celica he set fire to) is at the convention. The humans name is Kurt, and he went insane after the abduction. Roger spends the next two hours in the bathroom hiding from Kurt, both because the probing is presented with the undertone of a one night stand and because Kurt wants to show Roger to his ex-wife Eileen to prove aliens exist, which would blow Roger's cover.
Stan with the four nerds look for Dan Vebber. Dan is giving a keynote on Frodo Baggins v. Luke Skywalker. After a fight and chase, Stan and Steve corner Dan. Steve burns a pair of Peter Jackson's underwear to distract Dan, then Stan shoots Dan in the leg. Stan tells Bullock that the credit belongs to Steve.