- [Roger enters the kitchen carrying an octopus, an abacus, and a hair dryer. Steve enters carrying a guitar.]
- Roger: Your thing looks more interesting.
- Steve: Out of my way! I have band practice.
- Roger: Ooo, do you think...
- Steve: No.
- Roger: But I could...
- Steve: No.
- Klaus: Ooo, he shut you down! What are you gonna do, cry?
- Roger: No, I'm gonna walk outta here, 'cause I have legs.
- Stan: My holiday cele-bear-tions! A different handmade bear for every holiday. Look at him. How cute is he? Go on, tell him you don't love him.
- Francine: He's cute, but I still have a problem with the name. "Cele-bear-tion." It sounds like a cross between "celibate" and "abortion."
- Stan: [sighs] I told you, Francine. I heard your note, I considered it, and I don't agree.
- Steve: Jerry, what are you doing?
- Jerry: Nothing, man.
- Barry: We told you, no drugs!
- Jerry: And I told you, if I was responsible, I wouldn't be in a band with a bunch of 14-year-olds.
- [Snot, Barry, and Toshi vote to make Roger the band's new drummer]
- Toshi: [to Akiko, in Japanese] Maybe if you'd shown some leg, malt liquor wouldn't have shone so bright.
- Stan: You heartless bitch! I'm kidding.
- [Roger plays the drums in rhythm]
- Roger: Ladies and Gentlemen, Imma tell you 'bout a little place I know. Little place called London Bridge... IT'S FALLING DOWN!!!
- Francine: Stan, what are you doing? You're supposed to be at the warehouse.
- Stan: The INS was waiting for us, so I lied and said the Mexicans were in Steve's band. And now I don't know how we're gonna get out of here, and... wait, what are you doing here?
- Francine: I dunno. I usually just do what you do.
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