Plot: The episode begins with Stan furiously typing an essay for a CIA contest, the winner of which will get to have dinner with President George W. Bush. To win, Stan must e-mail the essay in by midnight; however, he is unable to come up with a line to finish it. He comes up with a line, but then he hears a noise (which he assumes is a burglar). He goes downstairs and, in the dark, attacks Hayley, who is arriving home after going to a club. During the brief scuffle, a flask of liquor falls out of her bag. Hayley insists that someone must have put it in her purse by mistake, but Stan does not believe her, and they argue for a few moments before Stan realizes that he only has sixty seconds to send in his paper. He runs back to his computer, but forget his final line and, low on time, sends it without any ending line. The next day at work he discovers that he did not win, his rival Duper won, as Deputy Director Bullock found it almost good, but "missing something."
Stan, furious, comes home and blames Hayley for his loss, saying that if she had not distracted her, he would have had time to finish the essay. They argue again over the flask, and as it becomes more heated, Stan tells Hayley she has become a "lost cause" for her drinking. Hayley, angered and hurt is about leave. But at that moment, to Stan's shock, President Bush shows up, explaining that Duper had been disqualified - much of his essay was plagiarized from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Hayley, of course, wants to grill Bush about political issues, but Stan quickly steps in to disable her attempts.
Meanwhile, Roger is trying to earn enough money to buy Dollywood, and, after searching through huge amounts of information, believes he has found evidence that Osama bin Laden is actually living in Washington, D.C., disguised aand working at MacMillan and Sachs Investments. Hoping for the reward money, he gets President Bush into the attic, but while there, Bush begins to choke. Roger quickly gives him a martini, which he drinks, but which Bush objects to, as he is a recovered alcoholic. However, he soon winds up getting drunk from Roger's drinks. Stan, wanting to diffuse the situation - and knowing the Bush has an important press conference the next morning, attempts to sober him up, but while he is making coffee, Hayley leaves with the president, and Stan follows.
Hayley, out of dislike of Bush, but even more, from anger at Stan takes Bush around the town, taking pictures of him that she hopes will be able to cause a scandal. Stan tracks them down as the president is skinny dipping in a neighbor's pool. Stan gives the president his jacket, but, distracted by a bickering Hayley, Bush manages to slip away. The two continue to chase him, cornering him in an alley. There, Bush breaks down and admits to Stan that, knowing that most people do not like him, he has found the presidency too difficult and wants to resign. However, when he finds a copy of Stan's speech in Stan's jacket, Stan begins to read it to him, as they walk back to the Smith house, a bitter Hayley in tow. Hearing Stan's words, President Bush regains his confidence in his ability to lead the country.
Back at the house, Hayley's friends arrive, and her boyfriend Jeff lets slip that she has her "special flask" of booze. Stan then scolds Hayley again, now with proof that she was lying about her drinking, and Hayley bitterly admits that he was right about her being a "lost cause." Bush, upon leaning this, scolds Stan for saying that to her, and points out that at her age he was even wilder than she was; in fact, he points out that Hayley is on the "track to becoming president." and Stan should actually be proud of her. Stan now sees that maybe he had been unnecessarily hard with Hayley and apologizes to her. Bush, glad that Stan has learned his lesson, then leaves to get ready for the next day's press conference. Hayley, touched by Bush for defending her, decides to delete all the photos of him on her camera phone, believing him to be "better than Cheney."
Meanwhile, Steve and Roger find the address Roger believes belongs to bin Laden, and they take the owner, Danny, hostage. After interrogating him, they are forced to conclude he is not a terrorist, and Roger, despairing that he will not be able to buy Dollywood, decides to rob him. The last scene reveals that Roger was right, only bin Laden moved out of the house only days before, which is what stopped Roger and Steve from finding him.