Stan: What's your drama, mama?

Stan: Steve is becoming a man. And one aspect of being a man is having absolutely no interest in women.

Roger: Ok, I'll bite...what's with the gyroscope on his junk?

Roger: Hey, Stan, want me to horse whisper those bad boys out of there?
[whispers nonsensically]
Francine: What did they say?
Roger: It's no use. There's no talking sense into them. Because they're nuts! Ah! Thank you! Ah!

Francine: I have to teach you everything about how to work a snatch.
Steve: Please tell me we're still talking about stealing.

Roger: Hayley, the only time 'maybe' means maybe is sex... maybe.

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