Steve is aiming for the girl of his dreams and Stan wants to help him by rigging the School Body President elections because 'a girl loves a man with power'. Steve goes mad with the power and locks himself in the school. Meanwhile Roger wants to help Hayley with her term papers in exchange for junk food because Francine has put him on a diet.
Stan steals Steve's lucrative idea to stage and videotape "bum fights," in which homeless men are forced to beat each other senseless, but when Hayley helps the transients to organize, Stan is forced to step into the ring himself!
Hayley takes a job as a stripper after moving into her boyfriend's van and being financially cut off by Stan. Meanwhile, Steve claims that Roger is his horribly disfigured burn-victim sister in order to gain sympathy points and "get boob" at the school dance.
After forgetting his anniversary, Stan arranges to have the last 24 hours of Francine's memory erased, but a bungling technician accidentally erases 20 years, sending Francine back to relive her days as a wild and carefree teenager.
When Stan gets jealous of fellow worker 'Agent Duper' he invites his boss over for dinner and tries to make him look like a terrorist, Roger puts Stan's job at risk and he calls Roger a burden. Roger falls into a 'Stress Induced Coma' and Stan throws him in the Dump. Roger finds himself in D.C and the CIA spot him and are going to find him and torture him to find out the family that have been hiding him. Stan tries to get there first and kill Roger to protect the Smith Family but Stan learns he has feelings for Roger.
Stan panics after discovering that his new neighbors are Arab-American. He gets paranoid as Francine wants to throw a Neighborhood party while he tries to find evidence that they are terrorists and eventually ends up looking them in the Smith's backgarden which has been turned into a detainment center; and Steve finds himself at the mercy of the Scout Rangers who are not as clean-cut as they appear to be.
Stan objects to the sex education program at Steve's school, so he decides to teach Steve the facts of life himself, taking matters into his own hands and becoming addicted to sexual self-gratification along the way!
After disowning Steve for being a geek, Stan must rely on his son's knowledge of science fiction and fantasy to catch a cyber-terrorist, and Roger attends the Mecca of geekdom—a sci-fi convention—in order to interact with humans without needing to be in costume.
Stan's real father, a studly super-agent, reappears after a 20 year absence to recruit Stan for a top-secret mission, but Francine suspects that he's a con man involved in a plot to steal precious Egyptian artwork.
When Stan ruins his boss's party, he's reassigned to Saudi Arabia, where the Smiths experience culture shock stemming from their new country's male-dominated social norms, which, of course, Stan loves!
Cultures continue to clash, and the entire Smith family is arrested by the Vice and Virtue Police and sentenced to death by stoning. Roger is wooed by an Arab prince, who thinks Roger is a morally loose "American girl."
A chaotic morning in the Smith family home leads to Roger claiming that he could be a better man of the house than Stan. They trade places as Stan becomes a drunk watching day time TV. Roger gets a job as a car salesman and promises the family a trip to Hawaii. Subplot involves People in the neighbourhood thinking Stan is abusive to Francine.
After receiving a hefty bonus from work, Stan buys extravagant gadgets while Francine pleads for her dream kiosk. Upset about his lack of support, Francine opens a muffin shop without his approval and gives Stan a taste of life without a housewife. Mean while, Steve thinks that he has become werewolf and Hayley joins a group of tree saving hippies.
Because of a past incident at his own prom, where he was lured into a dance with the homecoming queen only to have a pile of pigs dropped on him, Stan wants revenge by showing off that he married a homecoming queen, Francine.
Stan devises a plan to make Steve more popular at school, but the plan backfires when the side effects make him a little "too popular" and Hayley's student film shames Francine into becoming a surgeon.
Stan enlists his contacts at the CIA to help make Francine's birthday wish come true...to destroy George Clooney; and Roger starts his own vineyard with the help of some foster-child labor. Subplot Hayley gets cancer.
Stan's determined to send a reluctant Steve to summer camp. The only one he finds is in Africa, and it's a refugee camp. Back in Langley Falls, Francine and Roger pretend to be a married couple at events around town, but they can't agree on their backstory.
When Steve announces that he finally has a girlfriend, Stan could not be a prouder father. But when Stan realizes that she is not the petite cheerleader he was expecting, his obsession with physical appearance spirals out of control and he develops anorexia. Steve comes to recognize that his overweight girlfriend is the root of his father's problems and he has to make a hard choice in an effort to save his father's life.
Stan, the CIA's best interrogator, loses his confidence and his job when a car salesman gets the best of him in a negotiation. To get even, Stan comes up with an elaborate scam that temporarily costs his family their integrity. Meanwhile, Roger and Steve set up a makeshift drive-in to try to get to first base with popular schoolgirls.
Stan wants to speak at the Republican National Convention but he gets turned down. After seeing a terrible play dedicated to lincon Stan decides to make one of his own that is a big success. The Gay republican group (log cabin) ask him to speak at their converence and stan enjoys the lifestyle of a gay, Stan learns a valuable life lesson.
After Francine tells Stan she's looking for excitement in their marriage, Stan gets in the driver's seat and becomes involved in drag racing to spice things up. Meanwhile, Hayley breaks up with her boyfriend, Jeff, who is emotionally crushed until he joins Steve's world of online gaming. When Hayley finds out, she tries to sabotage their fun.
When Steve's new relationship with his girlfriend gives Francine empty nest syndrome, she tries to convince Stan to have another baby. Meanwhile, Roger tries to enroll in college with Hayley in order to experience college life, but while Roger ends up teaching the class, Hayley finds a new crush in her classmate Ethan, who turns out to be far from normal.
Francine discovers that Stan has been hiding a secret passion for competitive figure skating for the past 20 years. Instead of demeaning him, Francine decides to support him and joins him as his pairs partner...until Stan's competitive nature gets the best of him and he ditches her for a new partner. Meanwhile, Steve's classmate Snot finds new respect among his peers when he parades his new mail-order bride around the playground.
When Roger helps Steve see that his father isn't as smart as he always believed, the power-hungry pair set their sights on fame and fortune in New York City. It doesn't take long for Roger to lose everything on Wall Street, and Steve contemplates prostitution after Jon Stewart shoots down his comedy routine. Meanwhile, the rest of the family is certain that the two have just run away to the tree house, so when it explodes in a lightning storm, they are devastated but console themselves with Steve's college fund.
When an injunction prevents Langley Falls from lighting their annual Christmas tree, Stan blames secular non-believers for ruining his favorite holiday. With Stan's holiday spirit at an all-time low, the Ghost of Christmas Past visits him and tries to show him the true meaning of Christmas. However, Stan is convinced that Christmas can be saved by changing the outcome of Vietnam, but finds that changing the past only dramatically changes the future.
When Stan enters an essay-writing contest to have his personal hero, President Bush, come over for dinner, he is overcome with joy when the President arrives at his doorstep. However, not everyone in the Smith family shares Stan's excitement. Hayley tries to drill Pres. Bush on the Iraq war, and Steve and Roger attempt to convince him that they've found Osama Bin Laden but instead get him drunk after 15 years of sobriety. Stan tries to save the President from public humiliation while Hayley revels in his fall from glory.
When Stan feels like he's not climbing the ladder fast enough at the work, he turns to his lifelong ambition of making festive teddy bears. However, when he realizes that making a quick profit takes a lot of work, he resorts to using illegal aliens as cheap labor. Meanwhile, Hayley sees her father's new business model as an atrocity and takes matters into her own hands by calling Uncle Sam.
When Roger is rejected by Steve, who seems to be over him, Roger heads out in search of a new human companion. But when this new friend starts to abuse Roger and the relationship turns into a lot of excuses and sorry's, Steve and Hayley scheme to get Roger out of the bad relationship and back home where he belongs. Meanwhile, Stan tours the Mr. Pibb factory and meets the man himself.
While researching a paper about George Washington Carver in celebration of Black History Month, Steve uncovers a conspiracy that's been going on since the Civil War. When the curator of the Smithsonian Peanut Museum reaches out to tell Steve the truth, he's mysteriously murdered, and Steve and Stan are tracked by a secret society that will stop at nothing to keep this scandalous secret of American history.
When Stan arrives late to a CIA nuclear drill and thinks it's real, he moves the family to the mountains to survive the perceived apocalypse. Even after he realizes his error, he's enjoying the attention from the family so much that he doesn't tell them the truth. However, when the family meets a mountain man and learns the truth, Stan has some explaining to do.
Stan sets Bullock up with a friend of Francine's but, dreading to hear Francine tell him "I told you so," Stan goes to great lengths to make sure the date goes well by getting everyone drunk. Unfortunately, Bullock accidentally kills the woman and Stan covers it up and then frames Francine so that she'll stop asking questions.
When Stan discovers that Francine has a secret sex garden, he feels like their marriage might be on shaky ground. Hoping to rekindle the romance, Francine insists on a divorce so that Stan can experience life as a bachelor again, and both learn a valuable lesson in love. Meanwhile, Steve becomes addicted to an energy drink and finds himself panhandling in the streets to support his habit.
When Stan brings home special equipment from the CIA to eavesdrop on conversations, he discovers how his neighbors really feel about him. To get back at them, Stan has the entire neighborhood evicted in order to live free of any criticism. However, when an unexpected friend comes to his rescue, he realizes that gossip is a two-way street.
When Stan is prosecuted for sending contaminated cattle to the slaughterhouse, he recounts his story of how the ordeal started out as a quest to make Steve "a man". Meanwhile, Roger starts a cat fight between Francine and Hayley after he unintentionally gives one a little more attention.
When Roger finds out that Hayley's boyfriend, Jeff, is wanted in Florida for smuggling marijuana, he and Stan turn into bounty hunters and chase Jeff across the country. However, when the truth behind the matter is revealed, Roger is left with his tail between his legs and Stan steps in to offer some fatherly advice. Meanwhile, Steve gets shocked trying to hot-wire Francine's car and is cursed with a gift.
When Francine discovers that all their family vacations have been artificial memories created by CIA so that Stan could ditch the family, she is fuming and demands a real vacation. However, when the vacation seems too good to be true, Francine is convinced that it is also the work of the CIA and causes the family to suffer. Meanwhile, Roger makes a desperate effort to be the greatest actor who ever lived.
In order to be taken more seriously and to be a "somebody," Stan becomes a meter maid who seems to have all of the power. Now he's getting the best tables at restaurants (threatening to ticket and tow), pocketing quarters from meters and impressing Francine with his prowess. But, when Turlington (Whitaker) from Parking Internal Affairs pays him a visit, Stan realizes crime and this lifestyle don't pay. Meanwhile, Hayley poses nude for a college art class and is surprised to see Roger there.
Stan prays for a friend and thinks God sent him one, but Brett turns out to be an atheist. So, Stan tries to convince his friend that God exists by making his life extremely hard until his plan backfires. Meanwhile, Roger convinces Steve that he has been accepted to "Hogwarts".
When Francine's adopted parents stop by for an unannounced stay, Stan is furious that they refuse to assimilate to his "man of the house" ways. After he unsuccessfully tries to give them the boot, he is convinced that finding Francine's birth parents will change things. Meanwhile, Steve tries to live to the extreme in order to get to second base with the class hottie.
When Hayley decides to move to France because of imperialistic oppression, Stan will do anything to stop her including revealing the fact that she was brainwashed as a child by the CIA. Feeling desperate, Stan activates her trigger word and gains control over Hayley against the advice of his boss, Bullock (Stewart). Everything is going fine until Stan remembers that if he doesn't change Hayley back to normal, there will be deadly consequences for him. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger become private Dick Tracys.
At a poker game with the guys, Stan reveals that he has never actually killed anyone. It seems that every kill in Stan's history with the CIA has been the result of fortunate timing. Roger and the guys become determined to get Stan his first kill.
When Francine decides to be a surrogate for her gay neighbors Terry and Greg, Stan's Republican blood boils. Although he pretends to be happy, when the baby is born, Stan kidnaps her and heads to the Nebraska border, where gay couples have no rights. Meanwhile Steve and Roger pull a Howard Hughes and become reclusive after they think Klaus is out to get them.
After Stan comes home from another dangerous mission, he finds that his family has decked the halls with boughs of holly and donned themselves with gay apparel, but just not to his satisfaction. He demands a grander Christmas starting with the search of a bigger and better tree in the forest. When his family has had enough, Stan powers on by himself, finds the perfect tree and meets an untimely end. While in Limbo, he has to fight for a second chance at life and battle the forces of good and evil to save his family.
Francine comes up with an elaborate plan to reunite Stan and Roger after a big fight. She fakes Roger's kidnapping in the hopes of showing Roger that Stan still cares about him, but when Stan never shows up to pay the ransom, it forces Roger to rethink the way he treats people.
Stan and the family are characters in a Bond-style spoof when Stan must stop Tearjerker (a.k.a. Roger), a diabolical film producer, who produces movies that can kill. Tearjerker's fiendish plot involves abducting celebrities from his spa and replacing them with celebrity robots that make horrible movies, all in an effort to make his masterpiece "Oscar's Gold" the best and saddest movie ever, causing millions of moviegoers to cry themselves to death.
When Stan's mom gets dumped for the umpteenth time by a boyfriend, she comes running to Stan for support. Feeling threatened by her always-visiting mother-in-law, Francine is determined to cut Stan’s umbilical cord and figure out what keeps going wrong with the men in her life. Like a regular Cagney & Lacey, Francine and Roger go undercover to solve the case. Meanwhile, Klaus gives Steve the ick
Francine pushes Stan to open up to her emotionally, but she gets more than she bargained for when he tells her that he killed her best friend Julie's husband. Meanwhile, Roger plays psychiatrist to help them work through their issues.
Stan goes in search of a former KGB agent, Sergei, and is shocked to find that the man is his new next-door neighbor and that Sergei has already turned Steve into a communist. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus head to Europe for a little R&R.
Roger begins to release photos of himself to the local media for extra cash, prompting the CIA to initiate an Alien Task Force. Through a twist of fate, Roger ends up in charge of the task force, while in disguise, creating tension at home as he is now Stan’s boss. Meanwhile Francine comes to grips with being left-handed and Roger frames Stan as an alien in attempt to keep his identity a secret
Officially declared dead after an accident with a pudding truck, Stan comes back to life to realize his dream of leaving a legacy on the world and begins to excavate his home in search of Ollie North’s “Contra”-band buried treasure. As the search for gold goes “North,” life at home heads south as Hayley turns to body-piercing, Steve creates a robotic girlfriend and Roger files for sexual harassment
Stan has a Spring Break-induced mid-life crisis. With Francine away visiting her parents, Roger invites Spring Breakers to party at the Smith household. But Stan nearly has a Spring Breakdown when he falls prey to booze-cruising Jessica and Steve tries to lose his virginity to the luscious Carmen Selectra.
The Smith family gets ready to celebrate Roger's big 1-6-double-0 but are sidetracked by Steve's horrifying announcement that he's going through puberty! With the wounds still fresh from Hayley going through "the change" in their minds, Stan and Francine use experimental medicine to try and bypass the growing pains of having another teenager with raging hormones. Meanwhile, Roger gets the shaft from the family and tries to make his own birthday fun.
When Roger discovers that someone has maxed out his credit card, he is certain it is identify theft and is determined to bring down the crook. After playing Matlock for a few days and dishing out some street justice, he realizes things are not quite right and seem all too familiar. Meanwhile, the rest of the Smith family gets sucked into a mean game of Simon.
When Stan becomes his boss' go-to guy, he feels like he can't say no to anything including outrageous personal requests. But when Francine gets roped into the annoying ordeal and her romantic Valentine's Day get-away is ruined, she lays down the law and forces Stan to say "NO".
Stan becomes jealous when he finds out Francine was once engaged to a pilot whose plane crashed. Little does she know that her lost love is still alive, but when Stan and Roger track him down, Francine is forced to decide between the two men.
When Steve suffers indignities in school because of the back brace he must wear for his scoliosis, Stan confides in him that he wears a wig to cover his baldness. Meanwhile, Roger invites both Francine and Hayley to a posh spa even though he has only two passes, so he sneaks in Hayley in a suitcase, raising the suspicions of the house detective.
Stan is exhausted every night and doesn’t have any time for himself. When his co-worker Dick gives him pills that allow him to stay up all night, but feel like he slept a full eight hours – Stan is ecstatic! The pills give Stan an extra dose of energy, but he ultimately discovers that instead of spending his newfound time on hobbies, he'd rather spend more time with his wife.
When the Smiths try to plan a family game night, Roger is full of excuses about prior commitments. However, when he is caught in a lie, the Smiths feel stabbed in the back when they realize Roger has been cheating on them with other families. Stan, Francine, Hayley and Steve go on the offensive to teach Roger a lesson about monogamy until Roger has a breakthrough about why he isn’t a one family kind-of-guy
When Langley Falls implements a ban on trans fats, Stan finds himself legally separated from his favorite foods. He sets a poor example for the rest of the family when he blatantly disregards the law by crossing county lines and using Steve as a trans-fatty food mule to satisfy his own gluttonous desires
When Stan forgets to pick up grenadine at the grocery store, Roger goes ballistic and vows to get him back by taking over a project close to his heart – the Homeowner’s Association. So when Roy Rogers McFreely is appointed chairman of the association and starts to abuse his power, Stan, Hayley and Steve lead the opposition to preserve the small town's "American" values and take the community back from “the man”
Steve signs Stan up for a father-son bike tournament, but the plan veers off-track when Stan admits that his father never taught him how to ride a bike. Determined to make things better, Steve helps reconcile Stan with his convict father. Meanwhile, Hayley needs internship credit for school, so Roger hires her to bartend at his makeshift bar in the attic
Steve and the gang sabotage a stuck-up kid's bar mitzvah, after he hits on Steve's girlfriend, Debbie. But when Snot is wrongly accused of stealing the kid's bar mitzvah money, he must answer to the Rabbi, putting his own celebration in jeopardy. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine pitch an idea to a cell phone company, but the plan gets "dropped" when they can't deliver the goods.
When Stan gets kidnapped in Colombia, Francine fears he's gone for good. Stan finally reappears unharmed, but the real trouble erupts in the Smith household when he admits that he has a plan to marry his dentist if Francine dies before him. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger play detective duo "Wheels and the Legman."
Stan is excited about finally building his dream car: a DeLorean. Francine encourages him to include Steve, so the two take a road trip in search for the passenger door for the sports car. The trip veers off-track when there is a mad dash across the country to get the last passenger door available.
Steve joins a junior football team to make Stan proud. However, when a hyper-competitive Stan assumes the position of head coach, Steve gets kicked off the team for not being good enough. Out for revenge, Steve and Roger recruit a new team of misfits who threaten Stan’s perfect season. Meanwhile, Francine and Hayley compete for a blue ribbon at the Langley County Fair
Stan has had enough of Roger’s antics! When he calls Roger out, Roger claims he has been sent to Earth to determine the fate of mankind. Stan challenges him to prove it, and is tickled pink when he learns Roger’s real purpose for being on Earth. Roger struggles to get a grip on reality until a fateful turn of events helps put things in perspective.
Neighbors Terry and Greg are nervous when Terry’s father, football great Tank Bates, announces that he will be coming to town for a visit. Terry is worried because his dad doesn’t know he’s gay, has a baby or lives with his partner. Meanwhile, Steve goes on a drunken bender and learns the meaning of “beer goggles.”
Stan leaves Francine at home to go out with the boys, but guys’ night out goes from wild to reckless when Stan finds himself in one compromising situation after another. Meanwhile, Roger and Hayley use their charm and looks to attract a frat boy.
Season 5: 2009-2010
This is the first season of American Dad! to be broadcast in HD
Stan has to convince the dictator of Isla Island to sign a treaty in order to get a promotion at work. When Stan meets the general and accidentally kills him, he gets Roger to pose as the leader of the small island nation. However, Roger takes his persona too far and Stan has to rescue him from an impending revolution. Meanwhile, Steve and Snot become competitive to see who can get farther with the other’s mother.
Steve is left home alone when the family takes a trip to look at a potential college for Hayley. When his friends arrive and realize he has the run of the house, they persuade Steve to break the rules. They’re soon in over their heads when they discover that what they thought was a video game is actually a military controlled drone. Stan returns to find that Steve has betrayed his trust and thrust them into a high-level security situation.
After attending a concert with Hayley, Stan becomes obsessed with her music that features guest voices by Zach Galifianakis and members of My Morning Jacket, including Carl Broemel, Two-Tone Tommy, Bo Koster, Patrick Hallahan and Jim James.
When the Smith family goes to church on Christmas Day, Stan is furious when he can’t get a good seat. While Francine tries to ease his frustration, a moment of divine intervention occurs. Upset that he has been left on earth with Francine during the ultimate fight between good and evil, Stan ditches his wife to get into the pearly gates of heaven, but when Francine is kidnapped, Stan fights to get her back.
When Francine demands that Stan get rid of his gas-guzzling SUV because it’s draining the family of money, he hatches a plan with Roger at the local horse track to avoid giving up his ride. Meanwhile, it’s up to Steve and his friends to help out an old friend.
Stan puts down liberal social programs because he thinks they’re a waste of money and gives Francine a hard time for lending a helping hand at the local homeless shelter. When Stan develops a nasty addiction and needs help, he suddenly has a change of heart.
Stan gives Francine “love coupons” for Valentine’s Day, but refuses to honor them once he becomes preoccupied with his very own CIA cyborg. Meanwhile, Roger helps Steve and his friends remake a classic ‘80s movie.
When Roger reveals that he played on the gold-medal-winning 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team as the steroid-abusing Chex LeMeneux Stan convinces him to return his Olympic gold medal, but Roger has a difficult time dealing with the loss. Meanwhile, Hayley reevaluates her relationship with Reginald.
After Roger and Francine are victims of a mugging, Roger joins the police academy so he can learn how to defend himself and his loved ones, but he falls in with a corrupt cop who leads him astray. Meanwhile, Hayley's new friendship threatens her long-term relationship.
When Roger and Francine go wine-tasting, Roger plants a big kiss on Francine in a drunken moment. Francine decides to tell Stan about this incident, but when they sit down to talk, Roger convinces Stan that Francine started it all.
In preparation for a neighborhood pool party, Stan tells his family to get in tip-top shape, but an accident ruins the Smith family name. A humiliated Stan fakes his family's deaths and moves everyone out of Langley Falls to escape his shame.
It's Roger's birthday, and he begs to be roasted. But when he ends up devastated by the jokes, he vows to pull his life together. Things take a turn for the worse when Roger takes it one step too far, and the Smith family goes on the run.
Stan and Francine have had the scariest haunted house on the block for eight years running, but when one of their neighbors provides some stiff competition, Stan ups the ante with a “killer” set-up. Meanwhile, Steve falls head over heels for his overprotective friend’s younger sister and competes to win her heart in a Halloween showdown.
After an argument between Stan and Francine breaks out, Stan suggests they go see a counselor, who hypnotizes Francine and reawakens her lifelong dream of being a comedian. Meanwhile, Steve brings home a potential love interest for Klaus.
If there's one thing that Stan Smith loves, it's a good jury trial. He anxiously awaits his annual jury summons. But when Roger is the defendant in the trial where Stan is the foreman, he is finally in a position to make Roger accountable for his misdeeds. Meanwhile, Jeff and Hayley move in with the Smiths, and Francine tries to get Jeff to clean up his act.
Stan gives Steve a gun for Christmas, even though Francine warns him that Steve is too young. As usual, Stan ignores her, and when Steve accidentally shoots Santa, he sends the North Pole into a tizzy and jeopardizes Christmas.
Roger passes lethal gas into the Smith house, necessitating an evacuation to a hotel while the fumes clear. Francine befriends the concierge, and soon finds herself working in the construction business. Steve travels through time to 1981 to meet the artist who painted the portrait of his dream girl.
When Steve has trouble crossing over into the “cool kids” social circle, Klaus and Roger place their bets to see how quickly Roger can make him cool. Everything they try backfires until Steve becomes the in-crowds designated driver. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine take turns pranking each other.
Francine gets a job at Stan’s office, which cramps Stan’s style and his ability to flirt with co-workers. When Francine retaliates with a little flirting of her own, war breaks out at work. Meanwhile, Roger and Steve start a birdhouse building business.
Stan spends some quality father-son time with Steve at the local zoo, but things go horribly wrong when Steve slips into a gorilla exhibit. Meanwhile, Roger bets Hayley that he can become a great Country singer and sets out to write the most heartbreaking song of all time.
Roger becomes Steve's legal guardian, but gets a little overzealous in the parenting department. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine attempt to make waves after discovering that their vacation at the biggest water park in the world fails to get their hearts pumping.
When Stan realizes that he might never fulfill his dream of becoming a Best Man, he convinces his last single friend, Principal Lewis to marry the school’s Superintendent and to choose him as his Best Man. Stan invites Lewis’ old friend from prison to the wedding, only to discover a secret that could prevent the wedding from happening at all. Meanwhile, Roger finds the perfect pair of shorts, and an encounter with Ricky Martin makes him question his self-confidence.
After realizing that he has missed every milestone in Steve’s life, Stan makes a desperate attempt to bond with his son by creating a busty blonde bombshell alias, Phyllis, whom he sends Steve’s way. When Stan oversteps his boundaries, Francine intervenes to keep’s Steve’s virginity out of “blonde’s” way. Meanwhile, Roger starts his own limo service, and when a group of guys “drive and dash,” he goes on a manhunt to get his revenge.
When Stan runs into his former crush from CIA boot camp, his affection for her resurfaces, which drives Francine into a jealous frenzy. By including Roger in her plan for revenge, Francine accidentally leads him straight into the arms of a dangerous alien hunter. Meanwhile, Steve is struck with good luck, when he accidentally wears Hayley's panties to school.
When Steve tries to prove himself as a macho man to Stan, he follows in Roger's footsteps and tries to change himself from the outside in with a superhero persona. Meanwhile, Francine is going through an identity crisis of her own when she receives surprising news that could change the family forever.
When Stan finally has enough money to afford a membership at the golf club he has worked at for the past thirty summers, his hard work and perseverance prove to be futile when the club gives a membership to Steve first. However, things are not all what they seem when Stan realizes who the club owner really is.
Stan joins Roger and Steve's fictional detective agency, but he ruins the fun by being extremely incompetent at his "job." Roger demands that Steve fire Stan, but Steve cannot bring himself to do it and ends up lying to Roger. Things take a turn for the worse when Stan is kidnapped, and Steve must tell Roger the truth.
When Stan is overly enthusiastic about his hatred for old people, a hex is placed on him that turns him into a frail, old man. Meanwhile, Roger takes Francine on a road trip to a dance competition, but she soon finds out it's not what she bargained for.
When Barry threatens Stan's old high school wrestling record, Stan enlists Roger to beat Barry and defend his small claim to fame. However, Stan is caught off-guard when Roger, not Barry, is actually the threat to Stan's record.
Roger acts as the family therapist as his alter-ego "Dr. Penguin" until he is sent out to fight the war in Iraq. Klaus decides to take Roger's role while he's away, but not without major ruckus being caused.
After losing patience with Hayley and Jeff for their freeloading ways, Stan bets the young couple that he and Francine can live on minimum wage for a month. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger embark on a mission to test drive the car of their dreams.
When Stan catches Steve playing imaginary games with his toys, he decides to take his son down to Mexico to help him become a man. But the trip takes a turn for the worse when Stan and Steve are kidnapped by a drug cartel, and it’s up to Steve to break himself and Stan out of captivity.
The Smith family's tropical vacation turns out to be anything but relaxing when Stan is assigned a mission to kill the activities director at their resort, whom his boss at the CIA insists is an ex-war criminal. Meanwhile, Hayley and Jeff try to rekindle their fading romance, while Roger, as his latest persona, falls for an older gentleman.
Francine fears that she and Stan are growing apart because he spends so much time hanging out with his buddies at the “CIA Chill House.” Meanwhile, Steve and his friends are recruited to join a boy band and make a music video.
Stan decides that Snot isn't cool enough to be Steve's best friend. So he attempts to separate them by staging a shooting at an ice cream parlor, of which Snot is the only witness and is then placed in the CIA Witness Protection program. Meanwhile, Roger hires Jeff to clean his attic for extra cash, but keeps robbing him every time he goes back downstairs.
A Langley Falls talk show outs Francine as "Baby Franny," the toddler who was once rescued from a well by a heroic fireman. Meanwhile, Stan and Roger have an entrepreneurial "eureka" moment when they think of the world's next game-changing business opportunity.
Francine encourages the family to give up their various vices, but they all get drunk at Roger's Mardi Gras party and enter into a harrowing pact with Bullock. Meanwhile, a pastie is left in the attic, Cinderella-style, and Roger sets out to find the "perfect bosom" on which to place it.
Francine tries to teach Roger the value of hard work after his character "Twill Ongenbone" fakes a degree in archaeology, but she quickly regrets her decision. Meanwhile, Steve asks Stan questions about Stan's past for a school project, but is shocked by what he hears.
In a tribute to and send-up of the Pulitzer Prize-winning play, "August: Osage County," a dark secret is revealed about the Smith family's past when Francine invites Stan's incarcerated dad, Jack, to Stan's birthday party. Also in this spoof, Roger plays Edna, a maid who nurses Bullock and Hayley's love child. But when Edna falls in love with Bullock, it could mean dire consequences for the kid.
Roger announces that "Max Jets," a character of Roger's who enjoys showering the Smith family with money, is soon getting out of prison. But a wrench is thrown in the system when Max falls in love with Gina, a gold-digging waitress who threatens the family's inheritance.
Roger pretends to be Jeff’s imaginary friend so he can freely roam naked around the house with no disguise. But when big-mouth Jeff figures out that Roger is an alien, Stan issues an ultimatum: either Roger or Jeff must be killed immediately. Meanwhile, Steve becomes insecure about the shape of his rear end.
In Part 2 of "The Tearjerker Saga," a "James Bond" parody, Stan and his wife, Sexpun Tocome's honeymoon is brutally interrupted when Black Villain fatally shoots Sexpun. Determined to get his revenge, Stan teams up with former nemesis The Tearjerker to track down Black Villain and put a stop to his evil plan to melt the arctic glaciers.
Francine discovers Steve's special talent that will help him get into a great school: spelling. But when she fears that Steve is being distracted by Akiko, she takes drastic measures to ensure victory at the Pearl Bailey High School Spelling Bee. Meanwhile, Stan and Roger want Hayley to line-judge their badminton game, but she's still devastated over Jeff, so they decide to push her through the five stages of grief as quickly as possible.
While on a CIA operation in Florida, where the "real" Osama bin Laden is running a novelty restaurant, Stan has an accident and develops amnesia, so Francine takes the opportunity to mold him into the perfect husband. Meanwhile, to earn some extra cash, Steve helps out Roger on his paper route, where he becomes seduced by the dark side of the business.
Stan is shocked when CIA Internal Affairs tells him that Deputy Director Bullock is showing early signs of dementia and must have his memory erased. Meanwhile, Steve runs into a bully at school, so Roger hires an old friend Stelio Kontos to take care of the problem.
Klaus discovers his original human body, but Stan refuses to help him switch back. So, Klaus steals Stan's body and Stan becomes the fish. Meanwhile, Roger turns the attic into a gym, and tries to pressure Steve into a long-term membership.
Thwarted in their efforts to secure dates for the upcoming high school prom, Steve and Snot turn to the CIA's cloning machine to churn out two willing ladies. But, when the device produces two uber-fast-growing newborn babies, the boys must break out their fathering skills to ready them in time for prom night. Meanwhile, Stan takes home the CIA's cloned pet, Daren the Dodo, with disastrous consequences.
Francine's "Poltergasm" starts to haunt the Smith household when she is unsatisfied by Stan in the sack, and Roger must conjure a medium named Zelda Rubinstein to help eliminate the ghost. Meanwhile, Hayley introduces her new boy-toy, Mauricio to the family.
In a desperate attempt to show Steve that she's still a "cool" mom, Francine teaches him a vast array of shoplifting techniques to try out at the local mall. B when their attempt to pull off the ultimate heist at "The Gash" goes awry, Steve is captured and sent to a Venezuelan sweatshop. Meanwhile, Roger, Hayley and Klaus form Langley Falls' first Russian Balalaika trio.
Determined to get Snot to confront his emotions after his father passes away, Steve and friends embark on an epic cross-country road trip to the funeral. But Steve's commitment to his friend wavers when he falls for a Pixie Dream Girl along the way. Meanwhile, Stan and Roger invent an automatic cake-cutter for the Home Shopping Network, but their partnership is tested when they only make a "verbal agreement" to split the profits.
Hayley tries to fit in with a popular group of her former high school friends and, in the process, discovers Steve has an amazing ability to create incredibly realistic fake IDs. Sensing a business opportunity, Hayley builds out Steve's operation, but they don't count on having to deal with the other kingpin of the Langley Falls fake ID game: Kevin Ramage.
It’s holiday time in Langley Falls and Steve starts acting like a spoiled brat. So Stan takes him to see his incarcerated Grandpa Jack, who tells the story of how, as a boy, he captured the legendary Minstrel Krampus, a Christmas demon who used to punish naughty children on Christmas. Meanwhile, Hayley gets a job at the airport, but realizes she may not be cut out for customer service.
Roger suffers a horrific car crash as he tries to take a picture of his crotch on a traffic speed cam. After waking up from a coma, he starts to have eerie visions of the future, and saves the Smiths from a terrible fire. But, Roger's abuse of his newfound powers soon draws the ire of his fellow family members and the Smiths must learn to cope with the uncertainty of the future.
Stan mixes up his nighttime routine after his 100th kill, but mistakenly unleashes a "good" Stan in his sleep - Jekyll & Hyde-style - who's hell-bent on pursuing all the good deeds that real Stan would never consider, and stopping him from ever killing again.
Roger forges a radical plan to help Steve date the hot girl at school. Roger will switch faces with Steve "Face/Off"-style, seduce her, then tag Steve back in after she's fallen for him. But, Roger soon decides he may actually want to keep her for himself. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine become "Charlie's Angels"-type airline stewardesses to thwart an evil plan by Mark Cuban who wants to blow up the sun.
Stan is frustrated that Steve and his friends never play outside, but Francine refuses to let Stan take the kids to the woods for some outdoor fun. Of course, Stan finds a loophole, by drugging the kids and putting them on the CIA's holodeck, which, naturally, goes awry. Meanwhile, Hayley buys Roger's home star on the International Star Registry and claims she's now his queen.
After Stan is captured and returned home by a group of radicals, he starts to display leftist tendencies and Hayley suspects Stan may have been "turned." Meanwhile, Roger’s plan for a candlelight vigil to honor a missing Stan falls through, so he finds a creative use for his candles.
Stan fears that Hayley has no life skills so he forces her to take a job as a bartender in Roger's attic bar but, when Bullock becomes Hayley's best customer, Stan realizes that he can use his daughter's knowledge to get ahead at work.
Stan's co-workers at the CIA teach him about "rubbernecking," the art of checking out other women on the sly, away from the gaze of their wives. But when Stan causes a massive accident in an attempt to take a picture of an attractive jogger, he's interviewed by an intimidating insurance inspector who may rat out Stan to Francine. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus spill wine on the Smiths' brand new couch, and vow never to tell the other family members by sitting on the stained spot for the rest of their lives.
Stan is fired from the CIA in a round of budget cuts, but since his 20 years of work experience are classified and hidden from his "permanent record", the only job he's able to land is at the local grocery store where Steve is the manager. Meanwhile, Roger bets an annoying coffee shop musician that he can outplay him in one week. To accomplish his goal, he enters into a Faustian bargain with Lorenzo, a guitar-instructing infomercial host.
Roger is forced to sell his beloved attic bar to a restaurant chain after suffering a heart attack, and a sexy new next-door neighbor promises to take Steve and his friends' virginity in return for housework.
Roger and Francine discover an alien in the woods, and Roger capriciously has a one-night relationship with her before being fed up with her quirks. He tries to get rid of her by calling the CIA, but then realizes that he can't go through with it.