Four Little Words
Stan is afraid Francine will tell him "I told you so" when a blind date goes wrong, so he goes to great lengths to keep this from happening.
Season: 2 Episode: 15
Total Episode Count: 38
Prod. no.: 2AJN18
First Aired: April 1, 2007
Featuring: Stan Smith, Francine Smith, Avery Bullock
Also Appearing: Klaus, Roger, Steve, Hayley, Jackson, Dick, Duper, Saunders, Greg Corbin, Terry Bates, Melinda, Avery Jr./Sanjit, Midget Assassin, Beth, Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody, Bob Hope, Jennifer Grey, Karl Malden, Julia Roberts, Morgan Freeman, Jimmy Durante, Barbra Streisand, Kevin Bacon
Director: Caleb Meurer
Assistant Director: Albert Acosta, Mike Mayfield
Writers: David Zuckerman
Storyboarders: Josue Cervantes, Eric Fredrickson
Newspaper Headline: "Childhood obesity up, pedophilia down"
Plot: Deputy Director Bullock has been making everyone at the CIA work late every night, much to their annoyance. The employees believe this is because his wife is being held hostage in Fallujah, and thus he has nothing worth going home to. The other CIA force Stan to find a woman for Bullock, and he suggests Francine set him up with her friend Melinda. She reluctantly agrees, but says that if it does not work, "I told you..." Before she can finish, Stan creates a distraction by knocking over Klaus' bowl, he then explains to Klaus that he hates hearing Francine say "I told you so," and thus he is dedicated to making sure that the date is a success.
The two double-date with Bullock and Melinda, but leave early, as the two seem to be getting along very well. However, later that night Bullock calls Stan, having accidentally killed Melinda. Stan quickly helps bury the body and cover up the crime. At home, Francine, who is very hung over and can only half-remember the events of the previous night, wants to talk to Melinda about the date, but Stan claims that the two women had a big fight and Melinda does not want to talk to her. Francine nevertheless tries to meet Melinda, but cannot find her at home. When she says that she plans to contact the police if Melinda does not turn up, Bullock says that he will "get her off the trail."
Stan soon realizes after a midget assassin attacks him when he is moving Francine's car that Bullock intends to murder her. Bullock tells Stan that there is no other way and either she must be killed, or Stan would have to admit to her that she was right and hear the four dreaded words. Stan devises a new solution; he claims that he has tracked Melinda down, and he and Francine go to a bar to meet her. He then drugs Francine's drink, and arranges it so that when she wakes up the next morning, she is holding a bloody knife near Melinda's dead body. Francine, horrified that she killed Melinda, at first wants to turn herself into the police; Stan dissuades her, but she leaves and moves to India, explaining that to amend for her crime she feels the need to help others and find redemption.
After a month without Francine, Stan, now having to make dinner for the family, warns Roger at one point not to touch a hot pan, but he does anyway. When he drops the hot food Stan begins to say "I told you so," but Roger admits his mistake before Stan has a chance. Stan, shocked by the ability to do this "pre-emptive strike," realizes that he can admit his mistake to Francine. He flies to India, where Francine has taken a job teaching children in a poor village, and has adopted an orphaned child named Sanjen. Stan admits what happened and expects instant forgiveness; Francine, however, is of course furious, and demands to know how Stan can expect to fix everything that happened, in particular how she can now give up the baby she has adopted. Stan then comes up with a plan; they give the child to Bullock, who declares that since he now has to watch "Avery Jr.," late nights at the office are out. Francine returns home, though she remains furious at Stan for lying to her and making her think she killed her friend just so he wouldn't hear Francine say those four words.
Roger, after hearing a child and mother in the park talking about him being "deformed" for not having a nose, gets a fake latex nose resembling that of Kevin Bacon. He then goes around pretending to be Bacon, and getting free stuff; he then begins to take advantage of it, and when Steve and Hayley try to get him to stop he argues with them and acts like a jerk. He then pretends to see the error of his ways; however, the two learn that he simply decided to stop using the nose because he was caught on tape in a hit-and-run accident, for which the real Kevin Bacon is arrested.