|Hayley Dreamsmasher Smith-Fischer|
|Name||Hayley D. Smith-Fischer|
|Nickname(s)||Hay Hay, Jugs, Hayle, Agent Small Wonder|
|Last Recorded Age||18|
|Voice actor||Rachael MacFarlane|
Hayley Dreamsmasher Fischer (née Smith) is the eldest child of Francine and Stan Smith. Hayley, age 18, has a younger brother, Steve. They reside at 1024 Cherry Street, Langley Falls, Virginia. The family also has a fish named Klaus and a boarder, a space alien named Roger. Hayley's maternal grandparents are Bah Bah Ling and Ma Ma Ling. Jack Smith is Hayley's paternal grandfather. Her paternal grandmother is Betty Smith. Jeff Fischer is Hayley's husband, having married her long-time boyfriend in "100 A.D.".
In "The Most Adequate Christmas Ever" it was revealed that she was born on a trip to Africa after Stan ignored doctors advice who said Francine would give birth any day.
In "Stan Knows Best", she stated that she was 18 years old.
Hayley is an ultra liberal. She is a casual user of marijuana, helps the homeless in "Threat Levels", is in favor of gun control in "Stannie Get Your Gun", is intelligent, beating Roger in a battle of wits in "Jack's Back", and promotes saving the environment in "Finances With Wolves". Hayley majors in women's history at Groff Community College. She also occasionally drinks alcohol despite being only 18.
Despite her views, her actual personality is very similar to her father's. She often attacks people for their practices or beliefs such as Arboreus in his attempt to bomb the Langley Falls Shopping Mall, but Hayley was also known to be hypocritical of her beliefs. The greatest example of this was when she, Stan and Steve went to an African refugee camp in "Camp Refoogee". Hayley swore that she would be doing her best to help the people during the short time she expected to be there, but, once she found out that she was going to be there for a few weeks, she went to the UN compound which turned out to be a resort-like setting with buffet food. Also, despite being a vegetarian, she has been known to eat meat, again in "Camp Refoogee", for example.
Hayley had been dating her on/off boyfriend Jeff Fischer since the show began. They have broken up for many reasons. in "Dungeons and Wagons", she felt Jeff was too mushy and broke up with him. She has had many other romantic encounters with other men while with Jeff. It is unknown if he is aware of her cheating. She once went on a psychotic King Kong-like rampage at a local mall after Jeff broke up with her in "Pulling Double Booty".
According to Stan, Hayley will go into a rage if someone breaks up with her meaning a man cannot safely end a relationship with her, unless she breaks up with the man. This rampage has also shown that she possesses incredible superhuman strength and is incapable of stopping altogether until she's been completely sedated.
In a flashback, it was revealed that this began when she was very young and in elementary school where it was shown that she had a crush on a classmate named Jon who wrote "Jon ♥ Hayley" on his notebook.
Unfortunately the same day a girl named Lynne joined the class the same day and Jon fell in love with her straightaway due to the fact that Lynne was a new girl and much cuter according to their teacher. Jon then erased Hayley's name from his notebook and scribbled Lynne's on instead.
This triggered a furious outburst from Hayley and she began attacking her classmates, even beating some of them to the point of unconsciousness and even threw one out a window. She then began causing carnage and damage, destroying everything she saw. In her rage-filled state, she even killed the pet hamster and an autopsy later revealed that it had been pregnant. Her outbursts have been so extreme that even Stan and Francine are frightened of her at times.
During the family's time in Saudi Arabia, Hayley had a brief relationship with an Arab by the name of Kazim. Kazim saved Hayley from the Police of Vice and Virtue, and then claimed that he was a member of Al Qaeda with a mission to blow up the American Embassy. It was revealed however that this was a lie that he used to scam American girls to sleep with him. Infuriated, Hayley beat Kazim within an inch of his life.
She once had a brief fling with Avery Bullock, much to Stan's surprise in "Bullocks To Stan. She broke up with Jeff because she was looking for a guy who could "stand up to her". After Stan's intervention, she dumped Bullock and went back to Jeff. This was one time where Jeff fought to win her back.
In "Haylias", Hayley, in a trance like state due to Stan's brainwashing, married a gay man named Dill Sheppard. It turned out that Stan had her brainwashed as a kid, and, when he wanted her to settle down, he activated her training only to have her turn deadly. However, her marriage to Dill, a rich senator's son, did not last long as he was clearly gay. Their marriage was annulled shortly after the whole conflict.
In "Pulling Double Booty", Hayley had a relationship with Stan's CIA body double Bill, following one of her many break-ups with Jeff. Mistaking Bill for Stan Hayley assaulted Bill with a salad. Upon realizing her error, she apologized which lead to them getting into a relationship. Francine was very uncomfortable with the idea of her daughter kissing a man who looked exactly like Stan. Later when Stan showed Bill how "Hot" Francine is, Bill tried to have sex with Francine by impersonating Stan. Furious, Stan threw Bill out of the window by what appeared to be his genitals, and told Bill that he could not see Hayley again. In order to stop Hayley from going on a rampage when Bill dumped her, Stan pretended to be Bill to take Hayley out on a date. When Hayley realized the ruse, she burned down a forest.
Her sexual tastes lean to the extreme of S&M. She enjoys chaining up Jeff and causing him pain for her own satisfaction. This pain ranges from actual physical harm to simply belittling him at frequent intervals. This may however be part of an attempt to force Jeff to stand up to her because, when Jeff did take a more dominant role in their relationship, Hayley quickly and comfortably took a more submissive attitude. She also started her relationship with Bullock because he was the first man she met who stood up to her.
In "The Return of the Bling", she has a boyfriend named Ian who, during a date, plucked out one her hairs and put it on their dinner to get a free meal. She tried to kiss Reginald Koala because she was grateful to him for standing up for her and because she was a little drunk, but he wanted to be just friends and admitted that he had a girlfriend. Before she went up to her room, Hayley told him that she slept with her door unlocked and took her shirt off showing him her bare chest. She went on a double date with Ian, Reginald Koala and his date Rhonda in "Cops and Roger". As a result of their growing feelings toward each other, they broke up with their respective dates and went on a date together in Bully for Steve. However, Hayley ran into Jeff Fischer and found she still had feelings for him.
In "The Magnificent Steven", she was tricked into thinking Roger had a crush on her and that she was the "prettiest one in the house" just so Roger could get a video of her fighting Francine to post online for a free t-shirt.
Hayley has occasionally shown some bisexual tendencies. Stan, posing as Hayley's then-boyfriend Bill in "Pulling Double Booty", blatantly checked out a waitress in an attempt to get her to dump "him". Hayley was, in fact, aroused by the idea and suggested that "Bill" take the waitress back to their hotel room. She said he should have sex with her, then with Hayley and then watch while the two women subsequently had sex with each other. In "Haylias" she also mentions that she is interested in having sexual relationships with women while in Paris. It is important to note, however, that Hayley has only been seen dating men, showing that, even if she is bisexual, she prefers straight relationships.
In "100 A.D." Hayley and Jeff eloped, scamming her parents out of the reward money. However, she had reconciled with her parents and she and Jeff have moved back into the Smith house.
Hobbies and talentsEdit
Hayley is a talented guitarist and singer. In "Haylias", Hayley showed that she possessed complete professional training in both armed and unarmed combat, but she is unaware of these abilities. She broke Jeff's arm without even being aware of her actions. This is due to Project Daycare. Hayley is also a very talented singer to the point that even Roger, despite his dislike of Hayley, hired her in "Love, American Dad Style" for his club which soon became a success due to her singing.
Also, despite being fully obligated to women's rights, she is an excellent pie baker, going as far as to wear a 1950's housewife dress in "Every Which Way But Lose".
In "Weiner of Our Discontent" she revealed she has learned to suppress her gag reflex.
- (Hayley runs across the yard naked) "Help! Raccoons stole my penis!"
- "You know what, Roger? This is all your fault. I'm going to kick your ass!"
- "You can't be pregnant, you're a virgin! ...And a boy!"
- "Agent Small Wonder activated. What are my orders?"
- (After handing Stan a bag a mulch) "It's full of crap, just like you"
- (Klaus happily rubbing himself on Hayley's hand, before his eyes widen in shock) "Fish can't get herpes can they?"
- (After getting into Roger's luggage) "Are these balloons full of heroin?"
- "I think I gained the African twenty."
- Hayley has appeared in all episodes except "Lincoln Lover" ,"Best Little Horror House in Langley Falls, "Fartbreak Hotel", "Stan's Food Restaurant" and "The Full Cognitive Redaction of Avery Bullock by the Coward Stan Smith"
- In "Tears of a Clooney" she contracted and beat cancer during a year when her parents were in Prague.
- In "Stanny Slickers 2: The Legend of Ollie's Gold", it is discovered in conversation that Hayley's middle name is "Dreamsmasher" when Stan had to give up searching for Oliver North's gold because of her.
- In "Bush Comes to Dinner", President Bush said she is "right on track to be President".
- Stan says Hayley is a bed-wetter in "Stan Knows Best". This is only true because Stan puts her hand in a bucket of warm water while she is sleeping.
- In "Meter Made", Roger paints Hayley while sneaking into a figure drawing class in which she posed nude, an activity she apparently has no problem with. It is also implied in this episode that she has abnormally large aureolas as Roger states he needs more than one tube of paint to depict them.
- The reason her middle name is Dreamsmasher is because her birth and subsequent raising distracted Stan from following his dream of finding Oliver North's gold which was buried somewhere in their yard.
- She is possibly infertile after many years of exposure to the goo during her fake family vacations in "The Vacation Goo".
- Hayley is an active drug user, often smoking pot or eating pot brownies with Jeff. But, in "A Jones for a Smith", she was concerned that she may be addicted, but Francine dismissed these concerns.
- Jeff states that she shaves her pubic hair in "Joint Custody".
- She possibly has another brother named Bailey as revealed in "White Rice".
- Hayley and Klaus have a mind-talking super power as seen in "Merlot Down Dirty Shame"
- Hayley has shot her father three times, in "Stannie Get Your Gun", Haylias" and "Season's Beatings".
- Her phone number starts with 757, the area code for the Norfolk/Virginia Beach, VA metropolitan area as revealed in "Pulling Double Booty". In real life this region is home to Camp Peary, an alleged CIA training facility.
- Hayley seems to have herpes because in "Jenny Fromdabloc" Steve screamed to Snot after he was heartbroken, "She probably has the herps!" To which Jeff screamed "Yeah she does! Woo!" and when Klaus rubbed himself all over her hands in "Oedipal Panties", she wanted to know if fish could get herpes.
- In "The Kidney Stays in the Picture", Francine had a one night stand with Joel Larson in the year 1996 and slept with Stan three days later during their wedding, saying that either one of those nights had gotten her pregnant with Hayley. If that is the case, Hayley would have been born by 1997. Therefore, if the show claims she is 18, that episode would have to be set in 2015.