- Stan: [Imitating Bernie Mac] Boy driving me insane, got me talking like Bernie Mac.
- Steve: Hey bitch, where's my Mickey Mouse towel?
- Francine: I'm sorry! I'll try harder.
- Jack Smith: SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS NOT A CHOICE!
- Stan: What are you doing? We had a deal.
- Santa: Yeah, well I'm Santa and maybe now even a dumbass like you can figure out that I'm the bad guy.
- Steve: That's what I was trying to tell you! Krampus was good. He cared about kids, Santa just spoils them.
- Santa: And I make a hell of a lotta money doing it. Most of my portfolio is in toy stocks. [laughing]
- Stan: That's why you give toys to everyone...whether they're naughty or nice.
- Santa: The naughty kids buy the most toys.
- Roger: Wait, what? Kids don't buy toys, you give toys away. H...how does that make mone...
- Santa: Do not overthink this! Just know that I'm in bed with big toys so I'm making money.
- Jack Smith: Merry Christmas! And from your ass!
- Roger: I've got almost too many hands for jobs.
- Roger: What's with the speedo, Jeremy? It's too baggy. Is it a tandem speedo for two men? [gets in Jeremy's speedo] Even this is too lose. Mark, hop in here.
- Roger: [to Stan] Looks like you got some stuff goin' on. Wanna tell me what you did? Wanna tell me who you did? Was it a boy?
- Stan: Wow, full moon tonight.
- Roger: Actually once you get above the clouds, it's always a full moon.
- Stan: Is that true?
- Roger: Is any of this?
- Santa: Once we kill Krampus, you'll be on my permanent good list, Stan. You and Jesus.
- Roger: But he's Jewish.
- Santa: He is?!
Ad blocker interference detected!
Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers
Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.