- Stan: Men with mustaches are more persuasive.
- Bullock: That's preposterous
- Stan with mustache: No its not.
- Bullock: If you say so.
- Steve: Mom! We were playing a game!
- Snot: And I won.
- Stan: Gay? Dog Gobbling? Not a chance!
- Steve: Hello, Schmuely.
- Snot: The fuck did you just call me?
- Snot: Your mom's going to touch more sack than a medieval grain merchant on inventory day.
- Stan: Apologize? For what? For giving him power over an island full of half-naked Hispanic men? That's his dream...the the premise of three of his screenplays.
- Bullock: When da Vinci first conceived of it, he called it an aerial screw.
- Stan: That seems a bit lewd.
- Bullock: Well, da Vinci was a well known sexual deviant. You know that sketch of the naked man in the wheel? Blueprints for a rape machine.
- Steve: Why aren’t you getting up?
- Snot: I’m waiting for my wrestling rager to go down.
- [Steve runs through the house opening various doors, looking for Snot]
- Snot: Steve? I thought your mother would be opening the door.
- Steve: Well, she didn't.
- Snot: So, uh, this has gone too far, hasn't it?
- Steve: I would say so. I would, uh, say so.
- [There is a long, awkward pause]
- Steve: You know what the worst part of this is? I can feel your heart beating.
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