The Newspaper Headline is a recurring gag featured in the opening sequence of each episode of the first three seasons. As Stan is singing "Good Morning, U.S.A." he heads out his front door and picks up the newspaper waiting on his front porch. The front page headline is different for each episode, (e.g. the couch gags or Bart's chalkboard gags in The Simpsons). These headlines are satirical in nature, usually directed at the United States Government, the media, or current affairs.

As of season four, the show got a new opening sequence and the Newspaper Headlines gag was replaced by Roger's Disguises.

In the Family Guy episode "Foreign Affairs", a headline lampoons American Dad! with "Newspaper Gag Fails to Live Up to Expectations."

Contents 1 Headlines 1.1 Season 1 1.2 Season 2 1.3 Season 3

Headlines Edit

Season 1 Edit

#	Title	Headline
1	"Pilot"	Democratic Party Missing: Feared Dead
2	"Threat Levels"	Stuff Happens As Wave of Ambiguity Spreads
3	"Stan Knows Best"	Optimist Drowns in Half-Full Tub
4	"Francine's Flashback"	Hooker Killed For Heart of Gold
5	"Roger Codger"	Economy Turns Corner, Falls Down Stairs
6	"Homeland Insecurity"	Missing Twins Found in Gingerbread House
7	"Deacon Stan, Jesus Man"	Bush Finally Gets Joke About Last Name
8	"Bullocks To Stan"	'No Headline'
9	"A Smith In The Hand"	Israel Pulls Out of Gaza, Gaza Not Pregnant
10	"All About Steve"	Gas prices higher than dude at Weezer concert
11	"Con Heir"	Scientist Discovers Wife Cheating
12	"Stan of Arabia: Part 1"	'No Headline'
13	"Stan of Arabia: Part 2"	'No Headline'
14	"Stannie Get Your Gun"	Big Bird Dead Of Big Avian Flu
15	"Star Trek"	Bush Appoints Stephen King As Ambassador To Terror
16	"Not Particularly Desperate Housewives"	Clever Bumper Sticker Ends Abortion Debate
17	"Rough Trade"	Britney Spears' Baby To Enter Pre-Hab
18	"Finances With Wolves"	Tantric Sex Conference Ends Prematurely
19	"It's Good to Be the Queen"	Michelle Kwan Finally Dishonors Family
20	"Roger 'n' Me"	Confused Iranian President Denies Hollow Crust Pizza
21	"Helping Handis"	King Kong Told Not To Use AIDS Quilt For Warmth
22	"With Friends Like Steve's"	"American Dad" Releases DVD, Small Girl From Basement
23	"Tears of a Clooney"	Rob Schneider, Dead at 62

Season 2 Edit

#	Title	Headline
24	"Camp Refoogee"	Zach Braff mania sweeps Zach Braff's Apartment
25	"The American Dad After School Special"	Jewish Gynecologist develops Pap Schmear
26	"Failure is not a Factory-Installed Option"	Despondent Pluto drowns two of its moons
27	"Lincoln Lover"	Bush to Voters: "Votes for Dems Kills Angels!"
28	"Dungeons and Wagons"	Dems Take House, Republicans Get Record Collection
29	"Iced, Iced Babies"	Rumsfeld steps down... on puppy's head
30	"Of Ice and Men"	Turkey Uprising Fails!
31	"Irregarding Steve"	Trans Fats Banned In NYC, Fat Trannies Still OK
32	"The Best Christmas Story Never"	EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS! Santa exits sleigh, flashes crotch
33	"Bush Comes to Dinner"	It's 2007...still no flying cars
34	"American Dream Factory"	Girlfriend Dumped After Asking "Who's in World Series Bowl?
35	"A.T. The Abusive Terrestrial"	Homemade Valentine Proves Thought Doesn't Count
36	"Black Mystery Month"	Iran changes flag to middle finger
37	"An Apocalypse to Remember"	Scooter Libby farts, pardoned
38	"Four Little Words"	Childhood obesity up, pedophilia down.
39	"When a Stan Loves a Woman"	Airlines to Screen Emotional Baggage
40	"I Can't Stan You"	Mexican President creates New Taco Supreme Court
41	"The Magnificent Steven"	Plane delayed as Mrs. Plane finishes getting ready.
42	"Joint Custody"	Popeye insists: "Olive Oil Aint No Virgin"

Season 3 Edit

#	Title	Headline
43	"The Vacation Goo"	Al Gore honors Carlos Mencia for recycling jokes
44	"Meter Made"	Paper Mill To Town: "You smell weird."
45	"Dope & Faith"	Uncle Insists: "Creepy is the new quirky"
46	"Big Trouble in Little Langley"	Car radio turned up as girls approach
47	"Haylias"	'No Headline'
48	"42-Year-Old Virgin"	Son Regrets Teaching Dad How to Text Message
49	"Surro-Gate"	Bowler's Union Strikes
50	"The Most Adequate Christmas Ever"	Bear Market Suggests Investing In Salmon
51	"Frannie 911"	Local Golf Pro Also Pretty Good At Gambling
52	"Tearjerker"	'No Headline'
53	"Oedipal Panties"	Big Headline; Smaller Print To Follow
54	"Widowmaker"	Optimistic Nerd's Glasses Half On
55	"Red October Sky"	Friend's T-Shirt Idea Deemed "Genius!" By Friend
56	"Office Spaceman"	ALIEN SPOTTED!
57	"Stanny Slickers 2: The Legend of Ollie's Gold"	Fed Cuts Rates, Rates Shiv Fed In Retaliation
58	"Spring Break-Up"	Man Tries Sushi For The First Time: "It's Okay."