Of Ice and Men

Of Ice and Men
// The plot in one sentence

Season: 2 Episode: 7
Total Episode Count: 30
Prod. no.: 2AJN10
First Aired: November 26, 2006

Guest Starring: Martin Mull as Father Flanagan
Featuring: Stan Smith
Also Appearing: Klaus
Director: John Aoshima
Writers: Brian Boyle

Newspaper Headline: Turkey Uprising Fails!

Plot: This episode begins in the year 2045, where Klaus – who, inexplicably, has been returned to a human body – tells his grandson a bedtime story about his past:

Every winter, Stan, without explanation, becomes aloof and goes off by himself for entire days or nights, which causes Francine to become depressed. She eventually decides to follow him through a secret passage in their bathroom, guarded by traps and a knight. After following him to the surface, Francine finds Stan figure skating, and confronts him. Stan explains that he once was a competitive figure skater, but his overzealousness lead to his partner getting injured, and as a result he is afraid of skating with other people. However, Francine convinces him that skating can be a fun couples activity, and Stan slowly begins to enjoy skating.

Francine eventually enters herself and Stan in a contest, which horrifies Stan; he tells Roger part of his backstory he didn't tell Francine: due to his extreme competitiveness, he continued his figure skating routine despite his partner's injury, and then drove across the country with her to protest his poor score, rather than take her to the hospital. However, upon discovering the contest's prize is a set of wigs which he wants to play with, Roger convinces Stan that he and Francine should participate. Stan quickly becomes overly competitive with Francine and eventually dumps her as a partner in favor of Roger, who turns out to be an excellent figure skater.

At the competition, Stan sees a rather inept elderly couple who, despite their low score, are happy and enjoy each other, causing him to realize that he should be skating with Francine. He rushes home, tranquilizes Francine, and brings her to the rink. She wakes up with the two of them skating, and the two argue as they do a flawless routine. They leave without seeing their score.

Meanwhile, Steve and his friends order binoculars, but somehow receive a Russian mail-order bride instead. Hayley, however, convinces the woman to protect her interests and not do anything sexual with them until one of them marries her. The four boys hold a contest to decide who gets to marry her, and Snot wins; however, at the wedding, Toshi, who learned Russian to woo her, makes an impassioned plea for her, and she leaves Snot for him.

Klaus then finishes his story. When his grandson asks if he was ever a shark, Klaus angrily replies that he was two sharks and a monkey before telling him to sleep.

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