Ollie North is the song Stan sang in "Stanny Slickers 2: The Legend of Ollie's Gold" about the Iran–Contra affair. The song and animation are patterned after Schoolhouse Rock!


Stan: What? I can't believe you kids don't know about the great patriot Ollie North!

Stan: In the 80s there was Cold War drama.

We fought the Commies inside Nicaragua.

Our friends were the Contras. Freedom was their mantra.

So we sent them lots of money for guns and landmines.

But Congress stopped the Contra money flow

Just 'cause they moved a teeny bit of blow.

But then a hero came forth.

His name was Oliver North.

He and Reagan went around the sissy Congress.


Stan (speaking): You see, North secretly sold missiles to a harmless country called Iran who would always be a grateful ally. Then he gave the profits to the Contras. Genius!

Stan: But the sales were uncovered by the press.

Contras: Awwww.

Press: He he.

Stan: Reagan and North began to stress.

Reagan: Well...

North: Nyaay!

Stan: 'Cause what they did was technically high treason! (But it was totally justified.)

Stan: North volunteered to take the blame,

to save Reagan from prison rape shame.

The truth he did bury with his hot secretary.

Thanks to her shredder, he got off totally scot-free!


He's a soldier!

And a hero!

And a novelist!

And now he's on Fox News!

Roger: Crap, that's the end.

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