Stan admiring his double.
Pulling Double Booty
Season: 5 Episode: 6
Total Episode Count: 64
Prod. no.: 3AJN21
First Aired: November 16, 2008
Featuring: Stan Smith, Bill, Hayley Smith
Also Appearing: Francine Smith, Steve Smith, Roger, Klaus, Jeff Fischer, Avery Bullock, Jackson, Sanders, Sanders' Double, Duper, Dick, Ray, Jon, Lynne, Gordon, Danny, Katie, Glenn and Victor
Musical Numbers: Doin' It
Director: John Aoshima
Assistant Director: Josue Cervantes
Writers: Brian Boyle
Storyboarders: Patrick Kochakji, Oreste Canestrelli
Roger's Disguise: Professor Jordan Edelstein from "Camp Refoogee"
Plot: Stan sneaks the cookie dough, which Francine tells him not to eat and hides it before she finds out. Hayley and Jeff then announce that they are going to the store to buy beads so Jeff could open his own bead store. Francine says good-bye and "I love you" but Stan just says the former. Francine asks why he can't admit he loves Hayley. Stan says he can but only plans to when she is in the last moments of incurable cancer so she dies happy.
After a lecture from Bullock that body doubles are for work purposes only, Stan gets a call from Francine that Jeff DUMPED Hayley. He quickly rushes to the mall and pulls Jeff out of a pile of toys. Jeff asks why Hayley freaked out, as she breaks up with him multiple times. Stan explains that whenever Hayley gets dumped, she goes on a rampage. The first incident involved a dead pregnant hamster. They find Hayley in a toy store, acting like King Kong, and had taken several tranquilizers before she succumbed. The police says that one more tantrum and she goes to jail, which Francine knows she won't survive. Until they could find a man Stan finds appropriate, he starts to airlift any potentials Hayley meets. Furious, Hayley goes to the CIA to throw salad at her dad.
Francine expresses her concerns to Stan, who dismisses them and goes to feed Klaus (though he has a physical tomorrow and in reality, Stan was looking for the cookie dough). Francine follows and finds what seems to be him -- making out with Hayley. After fainting, she goes downstairs to confront Stan. He presumes she means the cookie dough but she misjudges that he meant the dough instead of Hayley, which horrified her, thinking he was an ephebophilic, as well as Roger, who was also sticking his fingers in the dough and she barfs. Just then, Hayley comes down with Stan's double, Bill. She explains that when she dumped salad on Bill, thinking he was Stan, he was okay about it and they talked, and started dating. Stan approves of this, as he considers Bill, his splitting image, to be the perfect man for Hayley. As the two continue to date, Francine barfs whenever they kiss or mention it. Hayley is convinced that Bill is the one and if he dumps her, she'd go maximum insane: She would kill Bill, burn down the neighborhood and rape Roger. Unfortunately, Stan shows Bill how good looking Francine is, which compels him to seduce Francine. When Stan finds out, he throws Bill out of the house. Worse, Hayley is set for upcoming Date-Vacation with Bill and would still go on rampage, so Stan impersonates Bill to get Hayley to dump him. But things go bad when Hayley wants to have sex him, to go all the way. Stan wants to avoid this and tries every means to break up with Hayley but she gets more enthusiastic. During a hiking walk, still pretending to be Bill, Stan admits that her father loves her but she then calls him, ringing on his cell phone. Enraged, Hayley burns down the forest.
Meanwhile, Roger persuades Steve to go to Chinatown for their "summer of exotic adventure". Steve spots a number of chicks and could identify which was male or female. The shop owner is so impressed, as few people can tell chicks apart and offers him a job at his cousin's chicken factory, which he brings Roger along. While Steve does a good job, Roger is infuriated, as he can't tell chicks apart. Steve is told that females lay eggs while the males get "culled", which Steve presumes to be putting top hats on the chicks and have them danced. But he later finds out they are actually grounded into slurry for nuggets and dog food, he grabs as many male chicks as he could and raises them in the tool shed to grow up as roosters. Roger, furious that Steve ruined their summer, steals the roosters for death matches. Steve goes over and challenges Roger to a fight over the roosters. When Steve wins, he accidentally releases his roosters into the streets, where they are all hit by cars. Roger then clocks Steve with a folding chair when he mourns.