Principal Lewis: We have a winner! The fat kid and his creepy Russian uncle or something.
Stan: Where would a communist go? Cuba? China? Back in time to kill Betsy Ross?
Steve: My rocket's ruined. Dad, can you help me build a new one?
Stan: Steve, do you get paid for your rocket?
Stan: Then it has no value. You see son, we're part of a wonderful system. Its the glorious orgy of American capitalism. I get a snazzy new title and a bigger pay check. Then I give my money to your mother, who spends it on speeding tickets.
Francine: I like to race school buses!
Sergei: Let me tell you a little story, Stan. I truly believed in Communism, Smith...and I was raising my son to be a true party member. But then Communism fell and the wall came down. My wife, who had the strong, plain features of a turnip, left me...for a West German tennis equipment salesman. And my son...my young son...he became an entrepreneur. He makes Halloween costumes for dogs!
Sergei: You see, I dreamed of coming to Langley Falls, Stan...because I vowed...the west stole my son, so I will steal your son...for Communism!
Stan: That'll never happen! Steve's an American boy. He's made of my American juices, baked in his mother's American oven.