|Last Recorded Age||14|
|Family||Mrs. Lonstein, Father (estranged)|
|Voice actor||Curtis Armstrong|
Schmuely "Snot" Lonstein is a student who attends Pearl Bailey High School with Steve and their other friends Barry and Toshi. Snot is a nickname given to him by the group. Although his father has yet to be seen, he lives with his mother Mrs. Lonstein.
Snot is arguably the second most normal of the group of friends, being perhaps less confident than Steve, but is otherwise a fairly normal teenager.
Snot once had a falling out with Steve over his affair with Steve's octogenarian girlfriend, and they both agree that she is sexy. Other fights have included Steve stealing money from Snot to support his energy drink addiction, resulting in Snot as well as Toshi and Barry attacking Steve physically. The most damaging factor that endangered Snot and Steve's friendship was when Steve sought to ruin another boy over a fight of his girlfriend Debbie, to which Snot mistakenly was accused of stealing from this boy and faced excommunication from his Jewish synagogue. Snot was acquitted when Steve confessed that he stole out of spite and Snot had nothing to do with it. Snot was clearly aghast at Steve for putting him in a perilous situation, but their friendship resumed when Steve sold much of his old toys in order to raise money to provide an excellent Star Trek-themed Bar Mitzvah for Snot. A lesser rivalry emerged over an attractive Russian girl named Svetlana, which was between all four boys, not just Snot and Steve. The fight was resolved when it was decided Toshi was the most suitable man to marry Svetlana. Snot has had a short relationship with Jenny Fromdabloc, one of Roger's personas where he believed he lost his virginity, but it turned out Roger was using a stress ball with a cut in it to fake the sex. In the end Roger fakes his own death by using his ability to move very fast to make it seem like he got hit by a bus.
Snot has a puppet of Fozzie Bear he tries to use to amuse Steve in License to Till". He later shows up at the hospital where Hayley has severe kidney damage with his Fozzie Bear puppet and attempts to cheer up Stan and Francine Smith in "The Kidney Stays in the Picture" but reveals he's really there because his grandmother is dying.
It's possible that Snot and Steve have romatic feelings with each other. In "License to Till", Steve and Snot kissed at the end. In "A Ward Show", Snot whispered to him regarding their kiss oath meaning nothing and in "Virtual In-Stanity" Steve mistakes Phyllis' comment regarding Chelsea that a curly haired person wanted to dance for Snot. In "American Stepdad", Steve and Snot find themselves holding hands. When confronted by Stan in "Why Can't We Be Friends?", Steve denies their being gay with a limp-wrist, but he later reminisces over a strip of photobooth pictures that includes them kissing although Snot's hand keeps their lips from touching.
Snot pretends to be gay with Barry in order to get out of a relationship with Hayley in "The Missing Kink", leaving Barry heartbroken when they part.
Snot reveals that his father ran away from his family five years previously on a trip to Home Depot in "The Adventures of Twill Ongenbone And His Boy Jabari".
- "Hey, Steve, which one would you think would win in a fight? The Death Star or Carl Sagan's Spaceship of the Imagination?"
- "...The fuck did you just call me?"
- AD101 "Pilot (American Dad!)"
- AD102 "Threat Levels"
- AD103 "Stan Knows Best"
- AD104 "Francine's Flashback"
- AD110 "All About Steve"
- AD111 "Con Heir"
- AD115 "Star Trek"
- AD118 "Finances With Wolves"
- AD121 "Helping Handis"
- AD203 "Failure is not a Factory-Installed Option"
- AD205 "Dungeons and Wagons"
- AD207 "Of Ice and Men"
- AD211 "American Dream Factory"
- AD212 "A.T. The Abusive Terrestrial"
- AD213 "Black Mystery Month"
- AD216 "When a Stan Loves a Woman"
- AD218 "The Magnificent Steven"
- AD301 "The Vacation Goo"
- AD304 "Big Trouble in Little Langley"
- AD306 "42-Year-Old Virgin"
- AD310 "Tearjerker"
- AD312 "Widowmaker"
- AD313 "Red October Sky"
- AD316 "Spring Break-Up"
- AD401 "1600 Candles"
- AD404 "Choosy Wives Choose Smith"
- AD405 "Escape from Pearl Bailey"
- AD407 "Phantom of the Telethon"
- AD408 "Chimdale"
- AD414 "Bar Mitzvah Hustle"
- AD417 "Every Which Way But Lose"
- AD418 "Weiner of Our Discontent"
- AD419 "Daddy Queerest"
- AD502 "Moon Over Isla Island"
- AD503 "Home Adrone"
- AD504 "Brains, Brains and Automobiles"
- AD505 "Man in the Moonbounce"
- AD506 "Shallow Vows"
- AD508 "G-String Circus"
- AD510 "Don't Look a Smith Horse in the Mouth"
- AD513 "May the Best Stan Win"
- AD514 "Cops and Roger"
- AD515 "Merlot Down Dirty Shame"
- AD601 "100 A.D."
- AD603 "Best Little Horror House in Langley Falls"
- AD604 "Stan's Food Restaurant"
- AD612 "You Debt Your Life"
- AD613 "I Am the Walrus"
- AD615 "License to Till"
- AD616 "Jenny Fromdabloc"
- AD617 "Home Wrecker"
- AD703 A Ward Show
- AD705 "Virtual In-Stanity"
- AD706 "The Scarlett Getter"
- AD707 "Season's Beatings"
- AD712 "The Wrestler"
- AD714 "Stan's Best Friend"
- AD716 "The Kidney Stays in the Picture"
- AD718 "Toy Whorey"
- AD803 "Can I Be Frank (With You)"
- AD804 "American Stepdad"
- AD805 "Why Can't We Be Friends?"
- AD806 "Adventures in Hayleysitting"
- AD809 "The Adventures of Twill Ongenbone And His Boy Jabari"
- AD812 "Naked to the Limit, One More Time"
- AD813 "For Black Eyes Only"
- AD815 "The Missing Kink"
- AD817 "The Full Cognitive Redaction of Avery Bullock by the Coward Stan Smith"
- AD819 "Da Flippity Flop" (heard only)