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Stan Knows Best/Quotes

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< Stan Knows Best

Roger: The carpet match the curtains?

Francine: How's everyone's French toast?
Stan: Smelly and ungrateful. But this American toast is delicious!

[As Hayley and strip club employee discuss exploitation of strippers]
Strip club patron: Plus, to quote Camille Paglia, these ladies are "sexual conquerors controlling the channel between nature and culture." Take it off, bitch

Stan: You look like a slutty wad of money.
Hayley: No way.
(Stan reassembles his gun)
Stan: Yes way!
Francine: Stan!
Stan: Well, she started it!

[Stan has a listening device and is listening to Jeff and Hayley from inside the house]
Francine: Oh Stan, I can't believe our little girl moved out.
Stan: Oh, Francine, you're gonna love this. Jeff, you know Jeff, Jeff lives in his van and the piece of junk just broke down right outside. Haha, she's not going anywhere.
Francine: Stan, are you sure she's...
[Stan breaks the window with his fist]
Stan: Hey Hayley! At least the last time you ran away, you made it all the way to the stop sign. Haha, that's funny. I'm funny.

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