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Sunbathing
[Francine is sunbathing]
Francine: Seriously, I'm gonna die one day and I want to make sure I left something behind that can be proud of.
Klaus: What about your kids?
Francine: Meh. [sets her margarita on the table and lifts her sunglasses up] I'm talking about something more permanent. I want to invent a catchphrase. Something is perfound as... all that and a bag of chips!
Klaus: Oh, come on. Don't you think everyone has tried coming up with a catchphrase? It's next to impossible.
Francine: Well, Klaus. I'm gonna do it. And... you can put that frog in the casserole.
Klaus: [sighs] Bitch, what did I just say?

Roger: Is that Norm Macdonald? I thought this was Dancing with the Stars?

Stan: I've been baking in the sun on a riding mower that's rattling my butt apart.
Horatio: I told you, wear seven underwears!

[Steve throws away a half-full can of soda]
Stan: What are you doing? Sounded like there was still some soda left.
Steve: I don't like the last half. It's not as effervescent. Nope! The bottom's not for me. I'm what they call a "top."
Stan: That's a soda from my fridge, which I bought with money I worked for!
Steve: Sorry, I didn't know you wanted it. My fingers are still sticky. You can suck on 'em if you want.

Stan: I admire the self-made men of this world... the Levi Strausses, the Hulk Hogans, the Larry Flynts. Imagine overcoming a name like "Larry."

[Horatio squeezes Steve's hand in a handshake after Stan introduces them to each other]
Steve: Aah! What the hell?!
Stan: [chuckles] That, Steve, is a working man's handshake. [cut to a schematic of a man's hand] A locked wrist that says he stands strong by his convictions. A firm grip that says you can trust him. Plenty of thick calluses that show he's not afraid to persevere.
Steve: Kinda like Shrek's hands. Aah! [cut to Steve wincing and grabbing his crotch] My tip.

Steve: You were Alisha Wilkner?! We went on seven dates!
Roger: Nine. I roofied you on two of them.

Stan: Membership has its privileges.

Hulk Hogan: Stan, my little Hulkamaniac filled me in on what's going on, and let me tell you something, brother. The Hulkster had to battle my entire life to get where I am, brother. With nothing but sweat, tears, and heartache, and good old red, white, and blue pumping through my veins, brother. All the training, all the matches, all the prayers, and all the brothers, made me appreciate everything I've earned. That's why no matter how many 1, 2, 3's I slap on my opponents, I just thank my lucky mean genes I was blessed to be able to step in that squared circle, and use these 24-inch pythons. Stan brother, sometimes as a Hulkamaniac, you gotta look deep down inside yourself, and ask whatcha gonna do, brother, when Hulkamania runs wild on you?

Previous Episode's Quotes /// Stanny Tendergrass's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes

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