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Francine: Doctor says I have a big, spongy cervix. Oh, listen to me bragging about my vagina. It's last week's PTA meeting all over again.

Stan: [upon seeing Lily's "husband" Al] You know, I love long hair on a man. Grown-up Jesus had long hair, but his breasts weren't as luscious as your...HOLY SHIT, YOU'RE A WOMAN!

Klaus: Allow me to impress upon you the severe mistake you have made. For years my conduct has been largely benign. And yet, without provocation, you have severed our détente and forced me to unleash upon you the vengeful flames of a thousand suns. You shall curse your mothers for the day of your birth. So, go now, go, and begin your life of fear, knowing that when you least expect it, the looming sword of Damocles will crash down upon you, cleaving you in twain and as you gaze upon the smoking wreckage that was once your life, you will regret the day you crossed the WRONG FISH!!
Steve: [to Roger] He didn't think it was funny.

[Nine months later...]
Steve: Ok you win, just do it already!
Klaus: Do what?
Roger: Get your revenge!
Steve: The water slide? the practical joke?
Klaus: Ohh yes, I had forgotten...
Roger: GOOD, good... us too.
Klaus: But now that you reminded me...the humiliation I suffered that day will not go unpunished! My pain is the bubbling cauldron of molten steel that will forge the saber of your demise! I SHALL NOT BE DENIED MY VENGEANCE...HAHAHAHAHA
Roger: [covers the fishbowl with a stack of books] Huh, wonder why we didn't think of that NINE months ago.

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