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Crazyguy
Steve: Roger, I need your help. There's a big crazy guy at school who wants to beat the crap out of me.
[Roger takes his glasses and clothes off, then puts his glasses back on. he puts his hands together and inhales]
Roger: I'm listening.
Steve: We're supposed to fight Friday at 3:00. I only have two days to find a way out of it.
Roger: I know a guy who loves a good fight. I'll give him a call. He'll take care of your problems.
Steve: Oh, thank you. Wait, the guy's not gonna be you, is he?
Roger: No, I promise.
Steve: 'Cause a lot of times when you say "you know a guy", you're really just talking about yourself.
Roger: Fine! It was gonna be me, but since you're making a big deal about it, I'll call somebody else, okay? Stop figuring out my tricks! [crushes his desk with a bat and puts his clothes back on] Huhh. My model plane.

Steve: [as Stelio Kontos beats him up] AAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! OH MY GOD!
Roger: Hello.
Steve: [weakly] What the hell, Roger?! Your guy was supposed to beat up my guy.
Roger: Oh, no, no, no, no. You see, my guy beats you up now, and then your guy won't want to fight you tomorrow. Bullies hate sloppy seconds.

[A group is recording the "Stelio Kontos and Luis" theme in a studio]
Steve: You know, as soon as they're done recording this, they're gonna put it in a boom box and beat the crap outta me, right?
Roger: Hey, I offered to take care of your bully problem myself, but you said not to. You said find someone real. Well, look around you. This is what happens when you do "real" things, Steve.

Previous Episode's Quotes /// The Full Cognitive Redaction of Avery Bullock by the Coward Stan Smith's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes

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