- Francine: [to Hayley, who hasn't left her room for weeks] You made a big one! Thanks for using the newspaper this time. Covered the whole comic section. Bet that's not the first time Cathy's had that done on her face.
- Hayley: Mom, Dad, this is Millionaire Matt Davis. We met in the burn ward.
- Stan: A millionaire? Okay, what is premium gasoline like? Does it smell as good as I think it does?
- Steve: Did someone just drop a house on me?!
- Roger: [after turning himself inside out] Stan! Reversing this is a two-man job! Stan? [is rolled around on the dirt by raccoons] Hey! No, stop! You're getting my insides dirty? Stan!
- [sixty years into the future]
- Jeff: You two are still best friends?
- Steve: Actually we're a couple now. We made a pact that we'd married each other if we were still single by the time we turned 21. In retrospect, we probably should've set the age a little higher.
- Snot: We take turns being the girl.
- Steve: No, no we don't.
Previous Episode's Quotes /// The Longest Distance Relationship's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes