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Steve: The night belongs to me, for I am... Greater Chimdale County Man!
Roger: No! That name's terrible!

Roger: Filming your bravery is just the excuse I've been looking for to buy a video camera. I broke my last one making a short film about butts. 7,000 hours of footage down the drain.

Francine: I JUST GOT THE BIGGEST BLOODIEST PERIOD OF ALL TIME!!

Roger: Excuse me, what's the difference between Digital Zoom and Optical Zoom.
Big Buy Employee: They are the same thing.
Roger: But the box says they're different.
[The employee looks at the box]
Big Buy Employee: Oh yeah, it does. I guess they're different. Let me know if you need any further assistance.
Roger: Thank you. [to Steve] I thanked him, why did I thank him?

Steve: I demand You cease Your criminal mischief! [The Vandals laugh]
Vandal: Look how round this kid's head is! Its geometrical perfection is unnerving. Let's beat Him up!
Steve: Roger, Th...The plan's not working!
[Roger fires a gun at the sky]
Roger: Run if You want to run...I...I mean, Live!

Francine: I know what you're thinking. What is the boob test gonna tell him that the butthole test didn't? He's just being super careful.

Steve: Mom really showed me something when she was on the toilet.

Quagmire: Giggity.

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