- Stan: I'm pissed at sex. Francine might be pregnant!
- Steve and Klaus: What?!
- Stan: I can't handle another child chipping away at the heroic Smith family name.
- Stan: The new baby could be the son I never had.
- Steve: Alive over here.
- Stan: He could be brave and have my back! I'll name him something strong. "Steve."
- Steve: Already named "Steve" over here.
- Stan: We'll change your name. You can... you can call yourself "Eve." Like the douche.
- Steve: The night belongs to me, for I am... Greater Chimdale County Man!
- Roger: No! That name's terrible!
- Roger: Filming your bravery is just the excuse I've been looking for to buy a video camera. I broke my last one making a short film about butts. 7,000 hours of footage down the drain.
- Francine: I JUST GOT THE BIGGEST BLOODIEST PERIOD OF ALL TIME!!
- Roger: Excuse me, what's the difference between Digital Zoom and Optical Zoom.
- Big Buy Employee: They are the same thing.
- Roger: But the box says they're different.
- [The employee looks at the box]
- Big Buy Employee: Oh yeah, it does. I guess they're different. Let me know if you need any further assistance.
- Roger: Thank you. [to Steve] I thanked him, why did I thank him?
- Steve: I demand You cease Your criminal mischief! [The Vandals laugh]
- Vandal: Look how round this kid's head is! Its geometrical perfection is unnerving. Let's beat Him up!
- Steve: Roger, Th...The plan's not working!
- [Roger fires a gun at the sky]
- Roger: Run if You want to run...I...I mean, Live!
- Francine: I know what you're thinking. What is the boob test gonna tell him that the butthole test didn't? He's just being super careful.
- [Steve is crying after he finds out that Roger stole the credit for scaring off the vandals]
- Roger: Now, now, we've had enough of this. [He shakes Steve vigorously, stopping him from crying] That's a little trick I learned to quiet newborns when I worked in the maternity ward. [chuckles] Quite a few people are still looking for this little lady. I'll tell you that much.
- Steve: Dad thinks I'm a coward.
- Francine: Mommy is very stressed.
- Steve: And then, I was about to change his mind, but you know what Roger did?
- Francine: Put a sock in it, Steve. Stop worrying about what your father thinks of you. For God's sake, you're almost 15 years old! If you lived in Fresno, you'd be a father by now.
- Steve: Mom really showed me something when she was on the toilet.
- Quagmire: Giggity.
Previous Episode's Quotes /// The Unbrave One's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| << Season 6 | American Dad Season 7 | Season 8 >> | |||||||||
| #01 | Hot Water | #07 | Season's Beatings | #13 | Dr. Klaustus | ||||||
| #02 | Hurricane! | #08 | The Unbrave One | #14 | Stan's Best Friend | ||||||
| #03 | A Ward Show | #09 | Stanny Tendergrass | #15 | Less Money, Mo' Problems | ||||||
| #04 | The Worst Stan | #10 | Wheels & the Legman and the Case of Grandpa's Key | #16 | The Kidney Stays in the Picture | ||||||
| #05 | Virtual In-Stanity | #11 | Old Stan in the Mountain | #17 | Ricky Spanish | ||||||
| #06 | The Scarlett Getter | #12 | The Wrestler | #18 | Toy Whorey | ||||||