- Stan: You paid? You said you were going to the bathroom.
- Francine: I did both.
- Stan: Well, you can just do it all, can't you?
- Stan: Here's your allowance, champ!
- Steve: Wow... a whole five bucks.
- Stan: Yeah, I'm gonna need change.
- Dick: Your very manhood is at stake! Your very manhood is at stake! Your very...
- Stan: Alright, we're not going to carpool any more.
- Man: You are all going to live...
- [The family cheers]
- Man: ... for 24 more hours. Which is just enough time for you to learn not to interrupt someone when they're talking.
- Stan: What I'm saying is, you're fired.
- [Donald Trump appears and demands Stan to pay for the use of the phrase]
- Stan: Oh, for God's sake, somebody pay Mr. Trump.
- Stan: That's passive past tense, Trump. You don't own that.
- Alan Greenspan: Fannie Mae!
- Stan: This is not soup.
- Hayley: Mom, Steve just infected me!
- Stan: Nobody likes a snitch, Hayley.
- Steve: I found a bum who's willing to scab. All you gotta do is dress up like a bum and fight him.
- Stan: Son, you're a lifesaver! All right, where's the bum who's stupid enough to step into a ring with me? [Steve points] Who the hell is that?!
- Steve: He doesn't have a name.
- Stan: What do you mean?
- Steve: He killed his own name.
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