Stan goes off on a mission, leaving a worried Francine behind but promises to be back by Valentine's Day. When Stan gets kidnapped in Bogotá, Colombia, Francine fears he's gone for good. After Stan's partner Jim turns on his charms with the female guards they are able to escape. Stan returns unharmed in time for Valentine's Day, but the real trouble erupts in the Smith household when he admits that he has a plan to marry his dentist if Francine dies before him. Francine decides to retaliate by making Jim her back-up husband. When Stan tries to break off his relationship with Meg, he doesn't realize he's only been deluding himself as she had no real plans to marry him in the event of Francine's passing. When he tries to tell Jim that the entire situation has been called off, Jim reveals that he is actually in love with Francine and tries to kill Stan. Stan crashes into a village and negotiates borrowing a ride in a hot air balloon. Stan arrives in time to confront Jim. While they are fighting Stan asks Francine for aid but finds she is being held at gunpoint by Meg who has decided she wants Stan after all. Francine manages to attack Meg and both Stan and Francine fight until Meg shoots Jim to save Stan. Stan tricks Meg, enabling Francine to get the upper hand.
Meanwhile, inspired by television, Steve and Roger play detective duo "Wheels and the Legman". They try to discover who took Hayley's iPod. Finding an oversized print of someone's butt on Hayley's bed, they believe it to be Barry. They argue over who gets to play the 'bad cop' and Barry pays the price. Barry cracks under the pressure and admits he was in Hayley's room but has no idea what happened to Hayley's iPod as he was frightened away by Klaus. Klaus' interrogation turns into a battle of bad puns until he surrenders and also admits to being in Hayley's room but saw nothing. The boys find a red hair leading them to their next suspect. having worked out most of their characters, Steve and Roger have completely forgotten that they were supposed to find Hayley's iPod until Roger realizes what it is and admits he took it while working on one of his wigs. Finding the bloody aftermath of Stan and Francine's fight they decide the detective work isn't for them.